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New season, new players, new gossip. I demand you tell me.
Send your salacious tales to me. Discretion guaranteed.
03.03.10 Congratulations a-bound
It's been an exciting couple of weeks and your friendly local gossip wanted to say congratulations to a number of people. Ben and Foxy- congratulations on the bump- another ginger to add to the collection!
Carly and Herman- congrats on the rock!
24.02.10 Bully's Beer Googles™
 Bully's beer googles are the most powerful on the market, they are capable of turning even the most whisker riddled he-she in to steaming piece of fleshy delight. Don't just take our word for it, see the results yourself!
30.11.09 The hunt is on
Whispers reach the gossip that one of the ladies team has been getting in some preparation for her surefire descent into cougar-dom. Friday night in the ‘shed saw her practicing her skills on a man (boy?) 7 years her junior.
And what happened to the leather jacketed man seen on the arm of another one of the ladies that night? Did she score?
Any updates to the usual address please.
02.11.09 The Welsh are taking over, boyo
 Has Duncan been hiding his welsh brother through the shame of having not being pure English??
Recently called up Welsh prop Paul James has a remarkable resemblance....
26.10.09 - Sweet dreams are made of this
Sunday morning started with a surprise for one of the Wimbledon Ladies' physios. Awoken from her beauty sleep by cries of "yatesy yatesy, will you just fu*k off!"
One of the more plastic taffys of the club had been dreaming that 1st team forwards coach had been chasing him round the pitch with a tackle bag.
Despite this trauma the dreamer's mind was still dominated by thoughts of head coach Yatesy.
That's dedication for you.
25.10.09 - Crash ball
The ladies game against Ealing did not start auspiciously for one forward on Sunday.
Kindly offering a lift to one of the more senior members of the team, her satnav proceeded to take them in the opposite direction to their teammates.
In order to rectify this, the prop decided to do a three point turn in someone's drive. She was unaware, however, of the local gates tendency to leap out at unsuspecting motorists.
The injured bumper was stuck back together with chewing gum and as long as no-one mentions it to her mum, it'll all be ok.
22.10.09 - Where have all the good men gone?
Rugby used to be a game associated with tough men, playing a tough game and then doing some tough drinking in the clubhouse.
Nowadays, it seems that rugby players are increasingly dominated by their good ladies.
Case point one: When asked if he was coming to the club's Hallowe'en event this weekend, Badger was heard to reply "I don't know, I'll have to check with her indoors". On receiving the go ahead an email of joy was sent out "Yippeee! She says we can go!".
Case point two: Leon Wynne, recently engaged, congratulations. However, seeing as the wedding's not for another year do you really have to spend your Saturday night "planning"? No, didn't think so.
Any examples of men being men, gratefully received to the usual address.
13.10.09 - Immac-ulate
Physios give good advice. That's part of what they're there for. However, some things are just beyond the call of duty.
Take last Saturday. Two of the club physios were subjected to a 20 minute grilling on quality and pain-free techniques of eyebrow removal. From a man.
The 2nd team fullback confided that he normally got his female best friend to tweezer his monobrow, however things had got to such a point that he had now decided do things properly.
Aforementioned lady-friend was on her way round the next day armed with Immac Bikini Line Wax. Be on the lookout for anyone with distinctly brazillian looking brows.
12.10.09 - Can't think of a headline suitably witty
Well, they were disappointing weren't they? (If anything went against the Trade Descriptions Act, it was surely the oil wrestling beauties)
Despite initially sneering at the event, the gossip was amused to see a veritable gaggle of ladies suddenly appear when a certain 1st team second row and man of the match decided to whip his clothes off and get involved.
02.10.09 DVD and a danish
A night guest stayed at the anglo-welsh love nest (well, actually 2 guests).
After a hot, fresh Danish early in the moring the guest and friend said their goodbyes to their hosts. However, before leaving, our guest of (dis)honour thought it would be polite to leave a hidden thank you present: a used condom in the DVD player.
Does the DVD player still work? Had he been watching DVDs on his own?
At least this time we know there shouldn't be any *little* surprises.
24.09.09 Bully boy
Which injury-prone player (who has recently given up the sauce and started helping the U16s youth team - as if they don't have enough issues during their teen years) managed to get an "accidental" fat lip from one of his prodigies whilst running a training exercise on Sunday?
Back to the drawing board/bar for him I feel.....
14.09.09 Don't go chasing waterfalls
Which member of the ladies team indulged in a bit of water sports this weekend?
The lady in question was apparently most annoyed to wake up in a rather larger damp patch than normal.
08.09.09 I got chills... they're electrifying!
One of the ladies team somehow managed to electrocute herself at 2am the other night. Reasons as to how and why are still unclear.
If you know any further information please send your answers on a postcard to:
Ann Summers Electrical Connections
PO Box 69
Shockton
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