New season new gossip...
gossip@wimbledonrfc.co.uk
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Can anyone 'Shed' some light on a matter
Dear Gossip it appears we have a fraud at our dear club. One notable party-goer from Saturday night's gentlemen's evening - codename "Head Boy" - was out afterwards and was taken in by the charms of a local lass. It was assumed that this bastion of morality had escorted the young lady safely to her door. However come Sunday morning, this standard bearer of the public school system was found to have slept in the kit shed of the rugby club having been turfed out of her quarters at 4am. It seems that a) maybe his morals are not as high as once thought....or b) he is not a product of the public school system but in fact an amiable tramp! Which is it gossip?! The people demand to know! Ian Former --------------------------------------------------------
"Toga, Toga, Toga!"
Dear Gossip,
Rumour has it that Badger was slightly dissapointed with the attendance at his recent New Years Eve Party. Rather than holding a grudge against those who did not show, he would like to invite everyone over again every Saturday night in January to have another go at it.
Badger said, "When I have a New Years party, I expect the house to be full, 200 at least. I don't care if they are uncouth strangers. As long as they are having fun!! I promise to make each party better than the previous one, starting from the 12th!!"
Please call Matt Benwell on 07894 719 474, for directions and further details.
See you there!!!!
ANON
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Christmas Turkey
Dear Gossip, in relation to Question 4, surely the only thing Simmo needs saving from is the incredibly...ahem... "voluptuous" lady he pulled on Wednesday night after the city drinks.
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Christmas Bus Trip
What a cracker! One of the best yet. A great effort by all who attended. A few questions resulting from the festivities:
- Will the kidnapped Stag ever get rid of the permanent marker?
- Who was he seen disappearing into the toilets with in the Leather Bottle?
- How pissed was Charlie by the end of the night and why was she dressed as Leroy from Fame?
- Did Simmo and Andy Kerr sing enough Carols in the Alma to save their souls?
- Was the 6'3" blonde really a Brownie?
Answers to the Gossip
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Is a Sky pundit with a bad hair cut and a dodgy 'tash playing for the 2's??????
With registration problems blighting previous promotion campaigns we
urgently need to verify the true identity of the small fella' running
about in 15 in Cuban heels for the 2's this year.
Although a place in the 1st XV is highly unlikely we do need to know
whether we have a Sky Sports presenter moonlighting for the club or a
5ft 5 inch full back moonlighting for Sky.
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Simmo's in need of a new home...is house trained and will perform tricks for food
In order to play a bigger part in the weekly developments at WRFC - Simmo is leaving the plush décor of Chelsea and moving to Raynes Park, so to assist in plenty of gossip about our Simmo anybody that has or knows about a decent room available for rent let Simmo know asap
msimmonds@spf.co.uk or 07968553347
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"She's gotta nice beaver nice beaver"...or should that be Night Fever?
Attached is a great photo of two Wimbledon players I thought would be
nice to share on the gossip page!
Enjoy!
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Phoenix Shites
Has the gossip spotted the similarity between the big front rower
Adam Jones and Peter Kay's alter ego Max, from Phoenix nights.
That might explain the roars of laughter from the opposition that
great his arrival onto the pitch.
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Bondy's taller twin brother
Dear Gossip
More on the Microphone dwarf.
Elroy was spotted on Saturday with the latest addition to his clan
seven month old Christian.
Christian sports a healthy afro, is 2 foot 3 inches tall and bears an
uncanny resemblance our very own Matt Bond. Touch line supporters
commented that despite the looky likey coincidence, Bilbo Bond could
not be the father as Christian was already several inches taller.
You can see Bilbo performing later this year when the Russian Midget
Trapeze act arrives in Wimbledon. Bilbo was recruited following a
towering display in the second row against Camberly several years ago
and has been training hard ever since.
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Eric's full of Cheese...
Oh gossip
It is with some disturbance that I write to you regarding the state of one of the club's more respected members. The Cheesewire has long been known as a man of taste and decorum - but lately he has been seen in a rather worrying new light. It seems he has fallen into the wrong crowd, that being the company of the well known lethario Eric "sneaky sneaky" England. It transpires that these two lady killers of the modern social scene went to an internet singles night last week on the advice of the wire. The venerable wire ploughed into the desperate housewives like a Fijian into a Welsh defence. However King Sneaky decided that internet tastes were not his usual appetite so decided to drag home the event organiser and show her his own style of even co-ordination.
Is this the sign of things to come? Has the cheese become the new Hoff of Wimbledon? Are the Third team still without a defeat in the league?Is the ying and the yang of the universe all wrong? Not quite it seems for I can re-assure readers that Tough Guy Butch Gledhill still sleeps with men. It seems that not everything changes.
Regards Ian Former
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New Campaign launch
Over the last few weeks at the club a huge momentum has been building to get Boris into the front row. I'd like to put my considerable weight behind this campaign and ensure that he plays his first game at hooker before Christmas.
If anyone would like to get behind this please send me your thoughts...
The G Spot
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Simmo watch!
Lads please keep an eye out for new player Mike Simpson harrassing members of the Ladies team.
It was been brought to the attention of the Gossip that not only did Mike watch them play away at Thurrock (by all accounts under the pretext that he fell asleep on the tube and ended up going all the way to Essex the night before), but he got the bus home with them afterwards and was seen getting stuck into a few in the Hand afterwards. The Gossip assumes that his informer was referring to pints!!!!
If anyone spots Mike having any type of interaction with a member of the Ladies team - or any bird for that matter - please inform me. Let's nip this menace in the bud!!!!!
The Gossip x
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Microphone Head
When the 2's visited Barking last year there was no convincing evidence
from the locals that Wimbledon's Matt Bond had ever played at the club.
However, their Secretary, Leonard Stumpy, has at last provided
photographic evidence of our much vaunted ageing full back appearing for
Barking 1st XV in 1992 - please see the attached and get this on the
website
